The thing you have to remember is that these are resilient young people that have been through hard experiences. Often the thing that has been missing is being nurtured. My first piece of advice is to make them feel safe.
We’ve had young people come in as an emergency placement who didn’t believe their dad wasn’t going to turn up and cause trouble. We had to reassure them they were safe and he wouldn’t be able to find them. That is the first hurdle, making sure they feel safe. Once they feel safe you can prepare them for their future.
When you foster a teenager you always need to have an eye on the end goal -- them living independently. What life skills do they have? Can they cook, clean, manage their spending and what is their personal hygiene like? Then you can break this down and start tackling the individual areas on a step-by-step basis. You’re not expecting big changes, but little ones that build up over time.
All of the teenagers we have fostered have various skill levels and we’ve had to consider this when we’re working with them. We once took a young person who didn’t know how to turn on an oven, to being able to warm up baked beans and then, three years on, being able to cook meals.
Those small steps resulted in a big change. You have to learn to let them make their own mistakes and then be there to help them pick themselves up and move forward. It is OK for a teenager to make mistakes. It is a part of learning.
If a young person isn’t ready to move on at the end of a long-term placement, we’ve not done our job properly. It is our job to be constantly preparing them for adulthood. There’s a whole world out there they can enjoy.
Get in touch today by calling 0800 234 6282 or emailing fostering@stchris.org.uk if you think you could help a teenager prepare for adulthood.
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