Why I enjoy fostering teenagers

Dean has been fostering for five years and joined the St Christopher’s team six months ago. In our latest post he explains why he and his wife decided to foster and what he finds rewarding about fostering teenagers.



My mum was a foster carer and it was something me and my wife always said we would do. It was just a matter of when. We had four kids between us and they had all grown up and moved away. We thought it was now or never, so we enquired and step by step we got through the process.

We had both always worked with teenagers. My wife is a youth worker in a residential setting and I worked for the YMCA for 12 years, working with teenagers. As a result, I felt that I understood teenagers. After working with them for a long time, I got an idea of what they felt and what behaviour this resulted in. It also gave me exposure to working with a team around the child to look at how we can support them.

Me and my wife did have worries when we started fostering. We were changing the dynamics of the house. You go through all of the steps, but you never fully understand what fostering is until you get your first child.

It was the enormity of the responsibility that only really hit us when that first child arrived. It is a big responsibility bringing up someone else’s kids. It is hard enough with your own, but you feel you owe it to their parents to make sure you do a good job.

My highlight of fostering is watching young people develop, having someone for three years and giving them the life skills and confidence to live independently. That is special. You can show them that just because things have been rubbish before, that does not mean they have to continue that way. We’ve taught our foster children to be proud of themselves.

I absolutely love it. It is one of the most rewarding things I’ve done and I speak for my wife on that one too. We are in it for the long haul. These young people need stability and the opportunity to form attachments.

We’ve had a young person who had gone through multiple moves before us and, when we had a disagreement, thought we would give up on her and we would move her on. It took a lot of time to get her to realise that wasn’t how it was going to work. We were going to move forward together. Things would need to change in her behaviour but her home was safe and we weren’t going anywhere.

I would never tell someone to foster because it is a personal decision and it is your choice. What I do say is: 

“There is no danger of me not fostering in foreseeable future. It’s a way of life for us. You have to change aspects to enable you to foster. But it’s worth it.”

My final thought is that before making a decision to foster do your research and speak to foster carers and foster children to get a better understanding of it. To find out more about fostering get in touch by calling 0800 234 6282.