The impact fostering had on my children

This week our blog post is from Jeanne, St Christopher’s foster carer from Essex. She will be sharing her experience of fostering and its effect on her children.

Initially both my daughters were delighted when I suggested to them that we foster. My eldest daughter was at university and the younger in her first year of sixth-form college. Both girls were becoming independent. It was opportune that they were at home the day that our foster child arrived as it was my birthday. They were instantly warmed to her and intrigued to have a little one staying at home.

My eldest, studying for a psychology degree, was much more aware of the trauma that this child, and all foster children, must have suffered to be in this situation. I could talk to her during the early months. She would send me website links to help explain the diagnosis of the many professionals that were to come into this little girls’ life. She played a major role in our little girl’s life, and her frequent homecomings in the first six months were eagerly awaited. This bond has continued with the help of Skype, even when our little girl’s 'Big Sister" went to study in Sydney for a year. 

My biological youngest, was wary in those early days. She felt unsure about giving her heart to someone who may not stay, who may go back to her parents or own family. 

She didn't want to know what our little girl had suffered. It was far too uncomfortable for her. She may have seen this sort of thing in the newspapers, or on TV, but in her mind it couldn't have happened to someone that she would cuddle, someone she would read to or tuck up in bed for the night. She didn't want to contemplate that this sort of thing could ever have happened to any child, let alone this sweet, dependant, little six year old girl who came to stay. It was very hard for her.

However, as little girl is now long-term fostered and the months have rolled into years, she is totally smitten, supportive and protective of her new young sister. Both my daughters have committed themselves to our little girl’s future as a member of our family. They have grown into successful, intelligent women. Both have developed a caring nature that I am proud of and secure in.