Autism is a condition many do not fully understand. It is a condition that has many levels and many difficulties, making it an even harder to understand.
I know this now and through my fascination of the autistic spectrum, the range of needs and level of autism. I have read all available materials. My social worker at St Christopher’s organised some very worthwhile courses to give me the tools I need to understand my teenage boy.
I clearly recall the Friday afternoon four years ago when my boy came to stay. He was severely autistic and without speech.
I was very excited and keen to make him welcome.
He came in, ran about and threw my pot plant from the hallway into the kitchen. Yes, pot as well!
Knowing nothing about autism I thought, "wow, what is happening here?”
Rather than panic, as it was Friday evening after all, I looked at the situation and thought “I have some learning to do here.”
He settled down and kept his eye on my laptop. “Umm,” I thought if he uses this he may throw it at the television. But, sitting next to him I let him use it soon to realise that this is one of his passions.
Reading and my first course taught me that on his first day of arrival he was extremely stressed and throwing the pot plant was his way of showing it.
Now, four years on, we have settled into a routine that we are very happy with, but we are still learning. Living in a household (he was in a children’s home) he can now make himself understood a little and says more words. It is so exciting when he does say a new word. At McDonalds he said "chicken nuggets" and I thought I was hearing things. When he fancies a coffee he writes “Kenco” on any available piece of paper and hands it to me needless to say that made me laugh when he first did that.
He loves Frosties and when nearing the end of the box he says, "where’s my Frosties". At the start I would say “in the cupboard” but then realised he was prompting me to buy more.
One visit to McDonalds he ran in before me with his arms waving, making strange noises, ran straight up to the counter and stood there (he’s a really tall lad). It was funny to see all the people’s faces as they all turned to stare. He was happy and I had a chuckle.
He loves to swim and each time we go somewhere new the lifeguard gets a fright as he stays so long underwater. I have to tell them that all is fine and not to panic.
When we went to Ibiza he loved to swim and run around and luckily the pool was mainly empty for him to jump in and out.
We do have the laughs but he also brings challenging behaviour which is part of the autistic spectrum.
At times he will walk up and slap you which was difficult to handle at first and most especially when your children also get a slap.
We read all available materials on this and soon learned tactics to avoid this and also to lessen the times he felt the need to slap. Thankfully that is a lot less now.
To finish, overall I have found my time over the last few years a real learning curve. It is interesting, challenging, most of all extremely rewarding. The main thing to do is gain the trust of your autistic child and they need to know that no matter what you are there for them through the hard times as well as the easy ones. He can’t help when he slaps, as he is on sensory overload at that time (could be sounds around, too many people or other reasons) and needs you to love him still.
His a fantastic young man. Looking after him we have all learned together and given us a new lesson on lives path.
If you think you could foster a child with autism or special needs please request a call back on our website or call us on 0800 234 6282.
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