When people start to think about fostering, it can be easy for them to feel overwhelmed with the choice of agencies and breadth of information to take in. Fostering with a charity might not seem that different from fostering with a local authority, but it affects everything from the type of children people look after to the level of support available.
St Christopher’s is a charity set up in 1870 that runs residential and fostering services for young people in the UK and Isle of Man. Its carers often say that its charitable status was one of the reasons they chose to foster with St Christopher’s rather than another agency.
Dean fostered with his local authority before transferring to St Christopher’s. He says: “The fact that St Christopher’s is a charity was the main pull for me. We care who we foster with because despite appearing to be the same there is a clear distinction between agencies – charities have no motive to make profit or pay shareholders. Instead they can focus on providing excellent services.”
Local authorities are often the first place people turn to when they start to think about fostering. So what are the differences between a charity and a local authority?
Linda Smith fosters a group of young siblings. She says: “I know some people who foster for a local authority and they are impressed by how much training we are offered, how many activities are put on for the children and how as foster carers we are genuinely treated as part of the team.”
Kevin Lane transferred to St Christopher’s from an independent for-profit fostering organisation: “We were horrified to hear of children as ‘financial heads’ – money had become their priority and it didn’t sit well with us.
“Since moving to St Christopher’s we’ve been very happy,” he says. “Obviously an organisation needs to be run efficiently but with a charity you know that children are central to the decision-making process – just as they should be.”
Putting young people first has always been a key part of St Christopher’s ethos. It runs a successful participation programme and goes the extra mile so children can have their say. Without this high level of support, many young people would lack the confidence to speak up.
Top level support is offered to carers too. Jo Richards has been fostering with St Christopher’s for four years, after initially looking into becoming a carer with her local authority. She says: “Charities seemed to offer so much more support. When you’re a new carer they’re with you for every step of the way – the application process, when a child moves in with you and when new situations arise that you aren’t sure how to manage yet.”
It’s not only with the professionals that carers can find support. Unlike most local authorities and larger agencies, St Christopher’s has a proper fostering community – carers can attend monthly group sessions to build friendships and share their experiences. There’s a family feel to everything it does – staff, carers and children all know each other and enjoy spending time together.
Smith says: “The family feel is crucial because it means the children feel at home and they become confident enough to get involved with activities.
“Without realising, they learn to start trusting again – it’s a really important part of their healing process.”
Richards agrees: “Staff take the time to understand you, your family and the young person in your care. Children aren’t just a case number and because it’s a smaller team everyone knows each foster family’s dynamics. The personal touch makes a huge difference when you’re phoning someone in the early hours of the morning looking for some extra support.”
Being family-oriented plays a role in the long-term. As all staff know each carer and child, there’s continuity – something that is vital for children in care. They’ve often been let down by adults in the past and need people they can rely on. St Christopher’s unique combination of brilliant foster carers and experienced staff means it can get better outcomes for the young people it looks after.
“I love being a part of St Christopher’s long tradition of creating brighter futures for one of the most vulnerable groups in society,” says Dean. “Especially when the only ones who profit are the young people in need.”
If you’re thinking about fostering, visit St Christopher’s website.
This article was originally published as a paid advertorial on the Guardian's website.
Thursday, 20 April 2017
Thursday, 6 October 2016
What’s it like to be a male foster carer?
When you’re thinking of fostering, there are lots of things that won’t affect your eligibility – your age, your sexuality, your marital status or your religion. But why are there so few male foster carers in the job?
Keith and his wife Carol foster with us in Essex. He wants more men to step up as foster carers and realise that they can make just as much difference to a young person’s life as women can.
Keith and his wife Carol foster with us in Essex. He wants more men to step up as foster carers and realise that they can make just as much difference to a young person’s life as women can.
I was at a training session on equality and diversity recently and it made me think about the misconceptions people have when you’re a male foster carer.
When my wife and I first thought about fostering, she had to give me an extra push to make me recognise that I could do it. The hardest thing you have to overcome as a male carer is the stereotype that you won’t be as caring as your female equivalent. It’s simply not the case – people ask what I do in fostering and expect to receive a different answer than the one my wife gives, but I do exactly the same.
Some people have suggested to me that men aren’t as trustworthy as foster carers and shouldn’t be allowed to do all the tasks involved, but I don’t think that’s fair. They don’t mean to be rude or upset me, it’s just a challenge for people to understand that gender doesn’t make a difference in fostering. Men don’t want to feel like the spare wheel in fostering – they want to feel like they’re an essential part of the car.
Often people have the impression that men should be checked out more thoroughly than women during the fostering application process, but the checks for everybody are really rigorous. You’ll be sussed out long before any young people move in with you and the staff are on-hand to provide any additional training or support that you might need.
I’m trying to encourage two of my brothers to start fostering too but they always ask whether I worry about looking after other people’s children. They have concerns about the risks and possible volatile situations they might be in, and think that women are better placed to handle these issues. I always ask them what makes me any different? Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I can’t manage these challenges in a professional and caring way.
Valuing male foster carers’ input is really important. One of my previous foster children couldn’t have got where she was today without my support.
Children in care are all totally different – that’s why we need a mixture of foster carers to look after them. I want other men to realise how rewarding it can be and know that they’re capable of changing a young person’s life too.
When my wife and I first thought about fostering, she had to give me an extra push to make me recognise that I could do it. The hardest thing you have to overcome as a male carer is the stereotype that you won’t be as caring as your female equivalent. It’s simply not the case – people ask what I do in fostering and expect to receive a different answer than the one my wife gives, but I do exactly the same.
Some people have suggested to me that men aren’t as trustworthy as foster carers and shouldn’t be allowed to do all the tasks involved, but I don’t think that’s fair. They don’t mean to be rude or upset me, it’s just a challenge for people to understand that gender doesn’t make a difference in fostering. Men don’t want to feel like the spare wheel in fostering – they want to feel like they’re an essential part of the car.
Often people have the impression that men should be checked out more thoroughly than women during the fostering application process, but the checks for everybody are really rigorous. You’ll be sussed out long before any young people move in with you and the staff are on-hand to provide any additional training or support that you might need.
I’m trying to encourage two of my brothers to start fostering too but they always ask whether I worry about looking after other people’s children. They have concerns about the risks and possible volatile situations they might be in, and think that women are better placed to handle these issues. I always ask them what makes me any different? Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I can’t manage these challenges in a professional and caring way.
Valuing male foster carers’ input is really important. One of my previous foster children couldn’t have got where she was today without my support.
Children in care are all totally different – that’s why we need a mixture of foster carers to look after them. I want other men to realise how rewarding it can be and know that they’re capable of changing a young person’s life too.
Watch Keith talk about his fostering journey on our YouTube channel now or visit our website to find out more.
Thursday, 29 September 2016
Sons and Daughters Month - Jackie's story
Sons and Daughters Month celebrates the difference that birth children make in fostering. Whether they're still young and living at home or have already flown the nest, having an extended family that care about your foster children makes a massive difference to their well-being and sense of belonging.
Jackie has been fostering with St Christopher's in the West Midlands for four and a half years. Her youngest son, Josh, still lives at home with Jackie and her foster daughter.
I’ve been fostering for four and a half years and have looked after the same young person, A, for the entire time. It’s gone really quickly and A has now started college.
My son Josh is 19 and still lives at home – my other children are older and have moved out. some even have children of their own now. He’s always been very laidback and never had any worries about fostering as my sister had been doing it for many years. He knew children that she had previously fostered and understood what it would be like.
I had a few discussions with all of my children, not just Josh, throughout the application process. They knew they could tell me if they had any doubts and that I wouldn’t go ahead with fostering unless they were completely happy.
A was challenging at the start. Everyone thought that she would be eager to leave as soon as she turned 16 but it hasn’t been like that at all, and I think that’s down to making her feel included in our lives.
At first it was hard for me and Josh to adjust. There are lots of new rules when you start fostering about not going in other children’s rooms and they must be stuck to. A had made a few allegations in the past against boys so safeguarding my son was a main priority.
When she moved in with me it was the first time A had lived with just one foster carer instead of a couple. It’s made her realise that not every child lives with both their parents. She saw that my son Josh relies on only me and I think it’s made her think differently about foster care.
My older son is a teacher and always advises A on problems at school and helps her with homework. I think she really benefits from knowing our whole family is behind her and gets a lot out of the extra support.
A always refers to Josh and my other children as her brothers and sisters. She is part of our family, she comes out for meals with us and goes to all our events. My birth children involve A in everything – and why wouldn’t they? I don’t think she would’ve minded being the only child in the house, but when she is treated like all of the others it does help her to feel more at home.
Fostering hasn’t changed my relationships with my children, but it has opened our eyes. When you have your own children you think you’ve seen it all but you really haven’t. It’s a learning experience.
Josh is thinking of moving out now so another foster child might be coming to live with me. I’m treating the topic with A the same way I did with my birth children – asking her if she would be OK with it and not going ahead with it if she has concerns. She was set against it at first but she’s starting to ask more questions now about what the person would be like and how old they would be, so she might come round when she’s older!
Would you like to make a difference to a child's life? Visit our website today to find out about fostering in your area.
Jackie has been fostering with St Christopher's in the West Midlands for four and a half years. Her youngest son, Josh, still lives at home with Jackie and her foster daughter.
I’ve been fostering for four and a half years and have looked after the same young person, A, for the entire time. It’s gone really quickly and A has now started college.
My son Josh is 19 and still lives at home – my other children are older and have moved out. some even have children of their own now. He’s always been very laidback and never had any worries about fostering as my sister had been doing it for many years. He knew children that she had previously fostered and understood what it would be like.
I had a few discussions with all of my children, not just Josh, throughout the application process. They knew they could tell me if they had any doubts and that I wouldn’t go ahead with fostering unless they were completely happy.
A was challenging at the start. Everyone thought that she would be eager to leave as soon as she turned 16 but it hasn’t been like that at all, and I think that’s down to making her feel included in our lives.
At first it was hard for me and Josh to adjust. There are lots of new rules when you start fostering about not going in other children’s rooms and they must be stuck to. A had made a few allegations in the past against boys so safeguarding my son was a main priority.
When she moved in with me it was the first time A had lived with just one foster carer instead of a couple. It’s made her realise that not every child lives with both their parents. She saw that my son Josh relies on only me and I think it’s made her think differently about foster care.
My older son is a teacher and always advises A on problems at school and helps her with homework. I think she really benefits from knowing our whole family is behind her and gets a lot out of the extra support.
A always refers to Josh and my other children as her brothers and sisters. She is part of our family, she comes out for meals with us and goes to all our events. My birth children involve A in everything – and why wouldn’t they? I don’t think she would’ve minded being the only child in the house, but when she is treated like all of the others it does help her to feel more at home.
Fostering hasn’t changed my relationships with my children, but it has opened our eyes. When you have your own children you think you’ve seen it all but you really haven’t. It’s a learning experience.
Josh is thinking of moving out now so another foster child might be coming to live with me. I’m treating the topic with A the same way I did with my birth children – asking her if she would be OK with it and not going ahead with it if she has concerns. She was set against it at first but she’s starting to ask more questions now about what the person would be like and how old they would be, so she might come round when she’s older!
Would you like to make a difference to a child's life? Visit our website today to find out about fostering in your area.
Tuesday, 27 September 2016
Sons and Daughters Month - Linda's story
Sons and Daughters Month celebrates the difference that birth children make in fostering. Whether they're still young and living at home or have already flown the nest, having an extended family that care about your foster children makes a massive difference to their well-being and sense of belonging.
Linda fosters with St Christopher's in the West Midlands. The support she's received from her own children has had a great impact on the young people she fosters.
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| Linda with St Christopher's Trustee Bert |
I’ve been fostering for three and half years and for most of this time I’ve been looking after a sibling group of three.
My birth children are all grown up aged 30, 33 and 35 and they’ve all got children of their own too. When we told them we were thinking about fostering they were all for it and thought it was a great idea.
Initially we were a bit worried about how our grandchildren would react but they totally accepted it and call our foster children their cousins. They spend every Saturday together as they’re roughly the same age and the two oldest ones both go to the same school.
I am particularly close to my oldest granddaughter who I had looked after a lot since she was a baby so I did wonder how she would behave when she saw me caring for another child. We discussed the idea of fostering with her throughout the whole application process and brought her along to buy all the things we’d need.
She was staying with us when our very first foster children arrived and instantly put the them at ease by giving them a tour of our house. Having someone there on their level definitely made a difference!
The first time my son met our current foster children was on a big family day out. They all got on really well and it was a completely natural transition.
Our middle foster child has had a really difficult time, but our oldest daughter has really taken her under her wing and tells her she will help as much as possible.
I think that having my family on board gives my foster children a feeling of acceptance. They send them birthday cards saying “brother” or “sister” on the front without us asking them to.
Fostering is normal for the whole family. I think if you can be relaxed about it then that’s half the battle – children can sense when you’re not being genuine and they’ll call you out on it.
That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a learning experience. Children’s needs change all the time when they’re growing up so all of us have to adapt too. I learn something new every day and it’s really important for foster carers to be able to take constructive criticism on board and take direction if you’re doing something wrong.
Since we started fostering my family has knitted together and become more of a unit. They've adapted really well to the changes we've had to make to become a foster family and have never wavered in their support.
Fostering is normal for the whole family. I think if you can be relaxed about it then that’s half the battle – children can sense when you’re not being genuine and they’ll call you out on it.
That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a learning experience. Children’s needs change all the time when they’re growing up so all of us have to adapt too. I learn something new every day and it’s really important for foster carers to be able to take constructive criticism on board and take direction if you’re doing something wrong.
Since we started fostering my family has knitted together and become more of a unit. They've adapted really well to the changes we've had to make to become a foster family and have never wavered in their support.
If my own children were a bit younger I would probably have worried about jealousy. However, we treat them all on an equal keel. There’s no “us versus them” because we’re all part of the “us”, in spite of the big age difference. We want everyone in our family to feel valued because they truly are.
Are you interested in fostering? Visit our website now to find out more.
Monday, 16 May 2016
Foster Care Fortnight 2016 – Connie’s story
We’re celebrating Foster Care Fortnight from 16-29 May and the theme for 2016 is Time to Foster, Time to Care. Every 20 minutes across the UK a child comes into care in need of a foster family.
Connie lives in Essex and has been fostering for about eight years. She shares her favourite fostering memories and explains why it’s such a rewarding career.
Why did you decide to become a carer?
Connie lives in Essex and has been fostering for about eight years. She shares her favourite fostering memories and explains why it’s such a rewarding career.
Why did you decide to become a carer?
I had always wanted to foster. My sister, who lives in Ireland, is a carer and so was the childminder who looked after my kids when they were younger.
St Christopher’s was actually the first organisation I saw an advert for so I just went ahead and phoned instead of waiting around for any longer. And I’m so glad I did!
How do you help young people settle into their new home?
For me it’s important not to make a huge deal of their arrival by not putting the spotlight on them. It’s a big move and they might be feeling anxious so I just welcome them in and invite them to have a chat. I’ll show them round the house, introduce them to the people they’ll be living with and talk to them about the area.
What are the biggest challenges of fostering?
I have always fostered teenagers with disabilities. I didn’t go into it with the idea of specifically fostering young people like this but the first boy I looked after had autism and it just grew from there. When he arrived I knew nothing about autism but St Christopher’s sent me on training courses to learn about different behaviours and how I could support him.
Sometimes young people with disabilities can totally switch their behaviour with no warning, which can be challenging at first. The training prepared me for these occasions and I really like that St Christopher’s gave me the opportunity to develop my skills and knowledge. It shows that they put the child’s needs first.
How do you juggle your job alongside the commitments of fostering?
I was so grateful that I could keep my job when I began fostering as lots of agencies don’t let you. Luckily my role is really flexible – for example, if there’s a problem at the school I’m able to go and sort things out. I can also take leave for fostering training days.
In my opinion it’s great for the children to be looked after by someone with a good work ethic. If they come into your home and see you going out to work they will learn that they’ll have to do the same when they’re adults.
Do you have a favourite fostering memory?
One child I looked after couldn’t read at 12 years old and was receiving no support from his school when he first came to live with me. He left that school and had help from a tutor and me so that he could learn to read, and he ended up winning an award for his achievement. It was a really proud moment!
Other things that stick in my mind are when foster children say “I love you” for the first time. You know then that they respect you and appreciate everything you’ve done. I’ve learnt an awful lot from the children that I foster, it’s a two-way thing.
I’m lucky enough to have good relationships with my foster children’s own families. We can all spend time together and have Christmas and birthday meals as a group. I feel like an extension of their birth family, which I’m so grateful for.
Being a carer does wonders for your own self-esteem too – you see a young person doing well and you know that you’ve had a positive hand in helping them get there.
What difference do you think you can make in 20 minutes as a foster carer?
Foster children often have low self-esteem so they need to be reminded that they’re part of your family and that they have a welcome place in your life. They want to know that you love them just as much as your birth children and can need more reassurance.
I remember when one boy first came to live with us he was sometimes aggressive towards my son. I realised that he was acting out because he was jealous so I took some time to make him understand that I love him just as much as my birth children. His behaviour really changed from this point onwards.
Showing you care and that you’re interested in what they have to say is so important. I always try to look at the positives in their development instead of focussing on the negatives, and talk to them a lot about this.
What do you like about fostering with St Christopher’s?
I love that it’s a small agency so you really feel like part of the family. Everyone is so friendly and they really care about you – you’re never left alone if you have a problem and there’s always somebody at the end of the phone who you can talk it through with. At first I didn’t know there was a difference between fostering with a Local Authority or a charity, but I am glad I ended up with a not-for-profit.
When new carers start, I always remind them not to be put off by the first hurdle because the outcomes are so rewarding. It can be challenging but you soon fall into your stride and seeing the difference in the child from when they first arrived is really worthwhile.
What would you say to someone who is thinking about fostering?
Do it! You can be a really positive influence in a young person’s life. Fostering is so, so rewarding and I would recommend it to anyone who wanted to make a difference.
We’re recruiting carers in the Eastern Region and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering on our website today or call 0800 234 6282 for a no-obligation chat.
We’re recruiting carers in the Eastern Region and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering on our website today or call 0800 234 6282 for a no-obligation chat.
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Foster Care Fortnight 2016 – Dean’s story
We’re celebrating Foster Care Fortnight from 16-29 May and the theme for 2016 is Time to Foster, Time to Care.
Every 20 minutes across the UK a child comes into care in need of a foster family. This year over 9,000 new carers are needed to provide safe, loving homes for vulnerable young people.
Dean is from Essex and has been a carer for about seven years. He spoke to us about why he wanted to get involved and shared some of his favourite fostering memories.
Every 20 minutes across the UK a child comes into care in need of a foster family. This year over 9,000 new carers are needed to provide safe, loving homes for vulnerable young people.
Dean is from Essex and has been a carer for about seven years. He spoke to us about why he wanted to get involved and shared some of his favourite fostering memories.
Why did you want to start fostering?
My mum was a carer so I grew up around fostering. It was something my wife and I had always wanted to do. We waited until our own children had grown up and left home before starting our application. Initially we thought we would give fostering a try for six months but the first young person we looked after came from such a chaotic background that we realised we had to see it through for their sake.
There are different types of fostering like short-term and respite, but we were more interested in looking after someone long-term because you see greater results. It’s so important to provide a stable home as it can take a young person a while to trust you if they have had bad experiences with adults before. You have to build up that relationship – that’s one of the main things that carers do.
You can have good intentions about how it will go but you never know until that first young person moves into your home.
How do you help young people to settle into their new home?
Moving into a new home is a really big thing for young people and we want them to feel as comfortable as possible. We let them choose their own bedding to personalise their room and we’re happy for them to put their own pictures on the walls. We ask what they like to eat so we can cook their favourite meals. It’s about empowering them to make responsible choices and showing them that we care right from the start.
Often the people we care for have been victims of neglect or abuse. They’ve been let down by the people who were meant to look after them and keep them safe. We acknowledge the past and the young person’s feelings, and give them space and time to talk about what’s happened. Through this we encourage them to think about the future and where they’re heading instead. We hope that they can begin to view life more positively.
How do you measure success when you’re fostering?
Young people who have been neglected, abused or have come from difficult circumstances often expect you to fail or let them down as this is often how adults have behaved around them before. They can be justifiably angry, upset or confused about their past and it might take some time for them to trust their foster carer. Sometimes they’ll ask if I’ve read their file but I always make it clear that we don’t make any assumptions based on the information we’ve been given and will deal with situations as they arise.
To begin with they might spend most of their time in their bedroom and will be reluctant to spend time with the family but then something changes. They’ll want to spend more time with you and to get involved in the household. They’ll even ask if you’re OK and start thinking about the people around them. When they do that you know things are beginning to progress well.
After a while you start to see their fear and anxiety drop away. They start to understand that you’re not going to give up on them and that they can stay in their new home. They realise how you can help.
Sometimes you can be fostering someone for 18 months or more and reflect back with them to see how far they’ve come. It just makes you realise how far they can go in the future.
What difference do you think you can make in 20 minutes as a foster carer?
Little conversations might seem inconsequential at the time but when you reflect afterwards you realise that it could be really important. Chats about school, friends and anxieties happen in short bursts but can give you a real insight into how a young person is feeling. We have the conversation on their terms and I give them positive affirmations whenever I get the opportunity.
When short-term interventions like these are repeated again and again they have a really powerful impact. The foster children get to know that you’re consistent and you can build up a strong relationship that will lead to good outcomes.
Why did you choose St Christopher’s?
I started fostering with my Local Authority before transferring to St Christopher’s for two main reasons. Firstly, they are a registered charity so their motive is to help children in care rather than to make money. All their income goes straight back into the young people.
Secondly, St Christopher’s were running a specialist fostering scheme at the time for carers who wanted more challenging placements. We were really interested in this type of fostering as we had both worked with teenagers for over 25 years, whether they were self-harmers, homeless or involved in the criminal justice system.
Since then we’ve fostered people with emotional difficulties, people with electronic tags and people who try to hurt themselves. They usually lack self-confidence which is understandable as they’ve been treated like they don’t matter.
What would you say to someone who is thinking about fostering?
Fostering is a real, tangible opportunity to make a positive impact on a young person’s life. You can be the first person to show them respect, provide a safe home, provide them with care and give them positive attention. It’s a really powerful thing and it’s so rewarding. We’ve got no plans to stop any time soon!
We’re recruiting carers in Essex and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering on our website today.
My mum was a carer so I grew up around fostering. It was something my wife and I had always wanted to do. We waited until our own children had grown up and left home before starting our application. Initially we thought we would give fostering a try for six months but the first young person we looked after came from such a chaotic background that we realised we had to see it through for their sake.
There are different types of fostering like short-term and respite, but we were more interested in looking after someone long-term because you see greater results. It’s so important to provide a stable home as it can take a young person a while to trust you if they have had bad experiences with adults before. You have to build up that relationship – that’s one of the main things that carers do.
You can have good intentions about how it will go but you never know until that first young person moves into your home.
How do you help young people to settle into their new home?
Moving into a new home is a really big thing for young people and we want them to feel as comfortable as possible. We let them choose their own bedding to personalise their room and we’re happy for them to put their own pictures on the walls. We ask what they like to eat so we can cook their favourite meals. It’s about empowering them to make responsible choices and showing them that we care right from the start.
Often the people we care for have been victims of neglect or abuse. They’ve been let down by the people who were meant to look after them and keep them safe. We acknowledge the past and the young person’s feelings, and give them space and time to talk about what’s happened. Through this we encourage them to think about the future and where they’re heading instead. We hope that they can begin to view life more positively.
How do you measure success when you’re fostering?
Young people who have been neglected, abused or have come from difficult circumstances often expect you to fail or let them down as this is often how adults have behaved around them before. They can be justifiably angry, upset or confused about their past and it might take some time for them to trust their foster carer. Sometimes they’ll ask if I’ve read their file but I always make it clear that we don’t make any assumptions based on the information we’ve been given and will deal with situations as they arise.
To begin with they might spend most of their time in their bedroom and will be reluctant to spend time with the family but then something changes. They’ll want to spend more time with you and to get involved in the household. They’ll even ask if you’re OK and start thinking about the people around them. When they do that you know things are beginning to progress well.
After a while you start to see their fear and anxiety drop away. They start to understand that you’re not going to give up on them and that they can stay in their new home. They realise how you can help.
Sometimes you can be fostering someone for 18 months or more and reflect back with them to see how far they’ve come. It just makes you realise how far they can go in the future.
What difference do you think you can make in 20 minutes as a foster carer?
Little conversations might seem inconsequential at the time but when you reflect afterwards you realise that it could be really important. Chats about school, friends and anxieties happen in short bursts but can give you a real insight into how a young person is feeling. We have the conversation on their terms and I give them positive affirmations whenever I get the opportunity.
When short-term interventions like these are repeated again and again they have a really powerful impact. The foster children get to know that you’re consistent and you can build up a strong relationship that will lead to good outcomes.
Why did you choose St Christopher’s?
I started fostering with my Local Authority before transferring to St Christopher’s for two main reasons. Firstly, they are a registered charity so their motive is to help children in care rather than to make money. All their income goes straight back into the young people.
Secondly, St Christopher’s were running a specialist fostering scheme at the time for carers who wanted more challenging placements. We were really interested in this type of fostering as we had both worked with teenagers for over 25 years, whether they were self-harmers, homeless or involved in the criminal justice system.
Since then we’ve fostered people with emotional difficulties, people with electronic tags and people who try to hurt themselves. They usually lack self-confidence which is understandable as they’ve been treated like they don’t matter.
What would you say to someone who is thinking about fostering?
Fostering is a real, tangible opportunity to make a positive impact on a young person’s life. You can be the first person to show them respect, provide a safe home, provide them with care and give them positive attention. It’s a really powerful thing and it’s so rewarding. We’ve got no plans to stop any time soon!
We’re recruiting carers in Essex and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering on our website today.
Friday, 22 April 2016
What can I learn about fostering in 20 minutes?
We’re celebrating Foster Care Fortnight from 16-29 May and the theme for 2016 is Time to Foster, Time to Care.
We’re a small fostering charity, so there’s a real family feel to what we do – our staff know each of our carers and children by name. Our carers are valued members of a team looking after a young person and they have 24/7 access to our experienced staff.
Unlike with larger agencies St Christopher’s has a proper fostering community. Each month our carers can attend a support group where they can meet each other and share their experiences.
We also hold annual achievement awards to celebrate the young people in our care and the milestones they’ve reached in the past twelve months. It’s at these events where you truly recognise the amazing impact that carers have.
What difference can a carer make to a child in 20 minutes?
Every 20 minutes across the UK a child comes into care in need of a foster family. This year over 9,000 new foster families are needed to provide safe, loving homes for vulnerable young people.
Kerryann O’Brien, Carer Recruitment Officer, explains what you could learn about fostering in 20 minutes and how your time can make a huge difference to a child.
What is fostering?
Most people have heard of fostering but they don’t usually know what’s involved. Fostering is when you welcome a child or young person into your home and support their development. You’ll provide a caring, safe home and work with their social worker, school and other professionals to make sure they reach their full potential.
What do people usually want to know when they get in touch?
When people get in touch about fostering they are usually just looking for reassurance that they can do it and that they’ll have help along the way.
Most carers have had experience with children before applying whether this is raising their own, working in a care-giving role or babysitting for friends and family. Fostering is very different, so they want to know how they’ll be supported to make the transition to caring for a vulnerable young person in their own home.
If you only had 20 minutes to talk about fostering, what would you say?
The first thing I would talk about is getting ready for fostering. It’s a big step for a lot of people so preparation is key – once a young person has moved in you can’t decide that fostering isn’t right for you and give up.
Explaining about our training is really important too. During the application process you’ll receive initial training where you learn what’s involved in fostering and how a carer fits into a young person’s life. After this you can access online training on young people’s development and will receive further in-house training throughout your fostering journey.
The final thing I talk about is the support carers receive from our social workers. Before a young person comes to live with you, you’ll receive as much information as possible about them so you know what to expect. With your social worker you can plan how to help that young person settle in, whether it’s through introducing a familiar routine or buying ingredients for their favourite meals.
Welcoming that first young person into your home can be nerve-wracking but remember your foster child probably feels even more nervous than you!
Explaining about our training is really important too. During the application process you’ll receive initial training where you learn what’s involved in fostering and how a carer fits into a young person’s life. After this you can access online training on young people’s development and will receive further in-house training throughout your fostering journey.
The final thing I talk about is the support carers receive from our social workers. Before a young person comes to live with you, you’ll receive as much information as possible about them so you know what to expect. With your social worker you can plan how to help that young person settle in, whether it’s through introducing a familiar routine or buying ingredients for their favourite meals.
Welcoming that first young person into your home can be nerve-wracking but remember your foster child probably feels even more nervous than you!
There’s a full list of Frequently Asked Questions available on our website.
What’s it like to foster with St Christopher’s?
What’s it like to foster with St Christopher’s?
Unlike with larger agencies St Christopher’s has a proper fostering community. Each month our carers can attend a support group where they can meet each other and share their experiences.
We also hold annual achievement awards to celebrate the young people in our care and the milestones they’ve reached in the past twelve months. It’s at these events where you truly recognise the amazing impact that carers have.
What difference can a carer make to a child in 20 minutes?
Tiny things can make a really big difference to a child in care. Listening to stories about their day, playing games and helping with homework all help a child to feel valued. These activities don’t take much time at all but will boost their self-esteem in the long term.
Using 20 minutes to advocate for a child’s rights by sorting out specialist support at school or arranging contact with their siblings is another way you can actively change their life for the better. Children in care often don’t have the confidence to speak up for themselves so foster parents need to be on their side.
Teaching them how to look after themselves properly or how to cook their favourite meal might take only 20 minutes but the skills they learn will benefit them for the rest of their life.
Making a child feel like part of your family goes such a long way. Use 20 minutes to get your relatives on board with fostering – not only can they offer you support in challenging times, it’s lovely for a child to have an extended family that they can spend time with.
How can I find out more?
Visit our website now to learn more about fostering.
We are recruiting carers in Essex and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering in your area today.
Using 20 minutes to advocate for a child’s rights by sorting out specialist support at school or arranging contact with their siblings is another way you can actively change their life for the better. Children in care often don’t have the confidence to speak up for themselves so foster parents need to be on their side.
Teaching them how to look after themselves properly or how to cook their favourite meal might take only 20 minutes but the skills they learn will benefit them for the rest of their life.
Making a child feel like part of your family goes such a long way. Use 20 minutes to get your relatives on board with fostering – not only can they offer you support in challenging times, it’s lovely for a child to have an extended family that they can spend time with.
How can I find out more?
Visit our website now to learn more about fostering.
We are recruiting carers in Essex and the West Midlands. Find out more about fostering in your area today.
Monday, 1 February 2016
What skills do carers think you need to foster?
However we wanted to know what characteristics our carers think are essential for fostering – after all, they’re the ones doing the job. Here are some suggestions from our carers in the West Midlands:
Fostering is when you look after someone’s child in your own home, which is a big responsibility. It’s really important that you can be natural and authentic when you interact with a young person so that you can build up a strong, positive relationship.
Someone willing to get their own family involved
Having the support of your relatives, friends and neighbours can make a huge difference when you’re fostering. Everyone in your life should treat your foster child exactly like your own child so that they feel a sense of belonging and have the chance to experience a normal childhood.
Someone with a big heart, who can show genuine love
Children in care have sometimes lacked stability in their life and can be wary of becoming too settled with one family. If you can show them that you truly care about their life and their decisions, it will make a huge difference to their self-esteem.
Someone who has coped with challenges in their own life
Going through difficult periods and coming out on the other side gives you greater empathy and understanding. You can use these experiences in fostering by reflecting on what helped you during these times and offering the same support to a vulnerable young person.
Someone with self-awareness and the ability to reflect
Fostering is a really challenging job and sometimes everyone needs a bit of a break. It’s OK to take a step back and ask for help, whether it’s from your social worker, family or friends.
Someone who is willing to break out of their comfort zone
St Christopher’s offers regular training sessions to make sure you’re the best foster carer you can be because we think this gives better results for children and young people. Our carers all agree that they come away having learnt something new each time.
Someone willing to work with lots of other people as part of a team
As a foster carer you’re part of a team looking after a child or young person. You will have to be open to everyone’s ideas and suggestions, keeping the young person at the forefront of your mind.
Someone who is confident enough to advocate for the child in a professional way
Sometimes young people can find it challenging to express their opinions, particularly if it goes against the decisions that adults want to make. A carer should be able to speak up on the child’s behalf and make sure their voice is heard.
Someone open-minded and able to think outside of the box
Looked After Children often have different experiences to the majority of young people. Even if you can’t relate to these experiences personally you should be open-minded, non-judgemental and empathetic.
Someone fun with a sense of humour
Above all, you need to know how to have fun!
Do you know anyone with some or all of these skills who you think would make a good carer? Ask them to speak with Kerryann O’Brien, Carer Recruitment Officer, via email or on 0800 234 6282 today.
Thursday, 28 January 2016
What’s it like to go to panel with St Christopher’s?
The final stage of becoming a carer is attending a fostering panel meeting, where it will be decided whether you should be recommended for approval.
We know that the idea of sitting in front of a panel can be nerve-wracking, so we want you to be as prepared as possible for this last step. Fostering Panel Administrator Debbie Stone explains what you can expect at your meeting.
Who makes up the panel?
The panel is a group of people who decide whether to recommend you as a foster carer. My role is to take the minutes of everything discussed.
We know that the idea of sitting in front of a panel can be nerve-wracking, so we want you to be as prepared as possible for this last step. Fostering Panel Administrator Debbie Stone explains what you can expect at your meeting.
Who makes up the panel?
The panel is a group of people who decide whether to recommend you as a foster carer. My role is to take the minutes of everything discussed.
Everyone involved has an interest in fostering, whether they are social workers, carers or children who have been in care. Other panel members may have specialist skills in medicine or education. Their combined experience means they are best placed to recommend people to be foster carers.
There are usually at least six people on the panel and it will be headed by a chairperson who has significant experience of working with children and families.
What can I expect to happen on the day?
Your social worker will go in first to present your assessment and answer questions from the panel. You will then be invited into the meeting room and asked questions about your assessment so that the panel can get to know you personally.
It’s a great opportunity for you to feel involved in the decision-making process and to ask the panel any questions you may have, but don’t feel obliged to!
How do I know if I have been approved?
After the meeting the panel will discuss your assessment and make a recommendation about whether you should start fostering. It is unusual for a carer not to be approved at this point.
The final decision lies with the Agency Decision Maker, Ron Giddens, who is also Director of Operations at St Christopher’s. He will agree or disagree with the recommendation and will write to you in seven days to let you know.
You’ll be able to start fostering as soon as you receive your approval letter. Congratulations!
If you think you would be a great foster carer, get in touch with us today.
There are usually at least six people on the panel and it will be headed by a chairperson who has significant experience of working with children and families.
What can I expect to happen on the day?
Your social worker will go in first to present your assessment and answer questions from the panel. You will then be invited into the meeting room and asked questions about your assessment so that the panel can get to know you personally.
It’s a great opportunity for you to feel involved in the decision-making process and to ask the panel any questions you may have, but don’t feel obliged to!
How do I know if I have been approved?
After the meeting the panel will discuss your assessment and make a recommendation about whether you should start fostering. It is unusual for a carer not to be approved at this point.
The final decision lies with the Agency Decision Maker, Ron Giddens, who is also Director of Operations at St Christopher’s. He will agree or disagree with the recommendation and will write to you in seven days to let you know.
You’ll be able to start fostering as soon as you receive your approval letter. Congratulations!
If you think you would be a great foster carer, get in touch with us today.
Monday, 11 January 2016
How can I prepare to be a foster carer?
Kerryann is our Carer Recruitment Officer. She follows up every enquiry we receive about fostering and can advise potential carers on how to prepare themselves for the journey ahead. She's come up with some top tips that can help you get ready to welcome a child into your family.
Becoming a foster carer is a big decision. We know that it will impact on every part of your life so we want to prepare you as much as possible for the journey ahead.
If you’re not quite ready to start the application process, there are lots of things you can do to get extra experience that will make all the difference once you are fostering. To give you an idea of what we’re looking for, we’ve put together this guide on preparing to foster.
Get in touch
Speak to our friendly enquiries team to find out if there are any specific things they want you to achieve before progressing with your application. You can learn about the requirements to foster and ask us questions about the approvals process.
Research fostering
Becoming a foster carer is a big decision. We know that it will impact on every part of your life so we want to prepare you as much as possible for the journey ahead.
If you’re not quite ready to start the application process, there are lots of things you can do to get extra experience that will make all the difference once you are fostering. To give you an idea of what we’re looking for, we’ve put together this guide on preparing to foster.
Get in touch
Speak to our friendly enquiries team to find out if there are any specific things they want you to achieve before progressing with your application. You can learn about the requirements to foster and ask us questions about the approvals process.
Research fostering
Our team can provide you with lots of information about what to expect from fostering, but we understand that talking to real life foster carers is one of the best ways of learning. Reading about other people’s experiences on our blog is a great way to find out how our carers feel about fostering. You can also visit internet forums like The Fostering Network or Mumsnet for extra information.
Get experience with children
Get experience with children
Volunteering in schools, kids clubs and support groups is a useful way of getting experience interacting with children and young people, as is babysitting the children of your friends, relatives and neighbours. You can also consider mentoring young people from challenging backgrounds, which will teach you about the types of experiences foster children have.
Build your support network
Build your support network
It’s really important to have a support network around you in difficult times, especially if you are planning on becoming a single parent foster carer. Talk to your family, friends and neighbours about fostering and make sure there are people you can rely on at all hours of the day.
Decorate your spare bedroom
Moving into a new home is scary for any child or young person, especially if they have left their family behind. One way of making their new room welcoming is by decorating it so that it’s easier for them to settle in. Remember to keep the room non-gender and non-age specific as you might be looking after children from all sorts of backgrounds.
Adapt your employment situation
You can still work if you foster, as long as your job allows you to meet the needs of the child or young person. Discuss your plans to foster with your employer to see if they can offer you flexibility around working hours and taking time off.
Let us know if your circumstances change
Changes in your life may affect your eligibility or application to foster. Remember to contact us if you get a new job, meet a new partner or now have a spare bedroom available. Even if you’ve decided that fostering isn’t for you, keep us informed about your decisions so that we can update your record.
Apply to St Christopher’s
We recruit carers from across London, Essex and the West Midlands. You can enquire about fostering or apply with us via our website or on 0800 234 6282.
Decorate your spare bedroom
Moving into a new home is scary for any child or young person, especially if they have left their family behind. One way of making their new room welcoming is by decorating it so that it’s easier for them to settle in. Remember to keep the room non-gender and non-age specific as you might be looking after children from all sorts of backgrounds.
Adapt your employment situation
You can still work if you foster, as long as your job allows you to meet the needs of the child or young person. Discuss your plans to foster with your employer to see if they can offer you flexibility around working hours and taking time off.
Let us know if your circumstances change
Changes in your life may affect your eligibility or application to foster. Remember to contact us if you get a new job, meet a new partner or now have a spare bedroom available. Even if you’ve decided that fostering isn’t for you, keep us informed about your decisions so that we can update your record.
Apply to St Christopher’s
We recruit carers from across London, Essex and the West Midlands. You can enquire about fostering or apply with us via our website or on 0800 234 6282.
Please do get in touch if you have any queries about fostering.
Thursday, 17 December 2015
Introducing the London fostering team
Are you interested in fostering? Want to find out more about the team who could be supporting you?
Gabriella Kulesza, London Fostering Team Manager, and Lucy Carroll, Supervising Social Worker, work with our carers across London. They provide support, organise training sessions and undertake assessments to ensure that all of our carers and children are happy and safe. Here they tell us about their roles and what they think makes a good foster carer.
What does your job involve?
Gabriella: I’m the Team Manager for fostering in London. I support all of our London carers, whether they are currently looking after a child or not. I make sure they provide a safe, loving environment where a child can feel at home. I also help to recruit new carers by attending events like community fairs, where I talk to people about what’s involved in fostering.
Lucy: As a Supervising Social Worker I visualise an entire care plan for a child and make informed recommendations on issues that affect their life. I’m available at all hours of the day so that carers can ask for my help or guidance, and help with training sessions for new and existing carers. I’m also welcoming a Social Work student to our team soon, so I will be helping them gain the experience they need to qualify.
In your opinion what’s the most important thing about your role?
Gabriella: The best way we can get things right for the child are by getting things right for the carer as soon as they enquire about fostering with us. My aim is to get the best possible outcomes for all children so that they can go on to have a bright, fulfilling future. It’s challenging, but the rewards are so great that it’s always worthwhile.
Lucy: My priority is minimising disruptions for a child by finding carers they can live with for long-term placements. If for some reason a disruption can’t be avoided, then I try to make the transition as smooth as possible to keep some stability in the child’s life. I also enjoy organising the annual awards events, where we celebrate all the children that our carers look after. It’s great to see how much they achieve in one short year!
What do you think makes a good foster carer?
Gabriella: A carer should be open, warm and caring, with the time and patience to look after a child. It is going to be a challenge so you need to have some self-belief and confidence that will allow you to care for the child and promote the best outcomes for them. You should be able to relate to children, even if you don't have your own.
Lucy: The best carers go the extra mile to ensure the child feels like part of the family and is treated like a birth child, which is really important. Things like cooking a child’s favourite meal and taking them for days out can make such a huge difference to their development.
Gabriella: We work in partnership with our carers to get the best results and ensure that the child comes first. Even if you think you might not meet every single requirement to foster, we can help you become an amazing carer with our excellent training and support.
Lucy: We get the best outcomes when we have a good match between a child and their carer. For example, we look after one young person who said it was important for a carer to understand her sarcastic sense of humour. We worked hard to find the right carer for her, and the two of them have developed a really strong bond.
Do any particular carers stand out in your mind for being great?
Gabriella: There is a couple we work with who have looked after a boy with severe learning and physical disabilities since he was a baby. He is now 12 years old and their commitment to him is amazing – they are even planning to adopt him! They have been amazing carers and have advocated for his needs every step of the way.
Lucy: A carer that stands out for me is a single woman who has looked after a young person for about five years. She is now 16 years old and goes to all family events, like a birthday party for the carer’s granddaughter. They’ve developed such a strong relationship because the carer will go above and beyond to make the young person feel included and valued.
Gabriella: Another one of our single carers recently completed a Masters in Autism. She looks after a child with this condition and uses the knowledge she gained from her degree to enhance the care she provides. Her success is down to her great communication skills and her warm and compassionate nature. She really goes the extra mile and you can hear the passion in her voice when she talks about fostering and the young person she cares for.
Why do you think it’s important to recruit new carers?
Gabriella: The more carers we have, the more young people we can help. To look after someone else’s child in your own home is one of the most amazing things you can do. Our carers are so selfless and tenacious, and always do their very best for the young person. It’s an enriching experience not only for the child, but for the carer as well.
If you think you could be a great foster carer, we want to hear from you. We’re recruiting carers across the London boroughs, but particularly in Ealing, Hillingdon and Hounslow. Get in touch with our friendly enquiries team today via email or on 0800 234 6282.
Find out more about fostering on our website.
Gabriella Kulesza, London Fostering Team Manager, and Lucy Carroll, Supervising Social Worker, work with our carers across London. They provide support, organise training sessions and undertake assessments to ensure that all of our carers and children are happy and safe. Here they tell us about their roles and what they think makes a good foster carer.
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Gabriella: I’m the Team Manager for fostering in London. I support all of our London carers, whether they are currently looking after a child or not. I make sure they provide a safe, loving environment where a child can feel at home. I also help to recruit new carers by attending events like community fairs, where I talk to people about what’s involved in fostering.
Lucy: As a Supervising Social Worker I visualise an entire care plan for a child and make informed recommendations on issues that affect their life. I’m available at all hours of the day so that carers can ask for my help or guidance, and help with training sessions for new and existing carers. I’m also welcoming a Social Work student to our team soon, so I will be helping them gain the experience they need to qualify.
In your opinion what’s the most important thing about your role?
Gabriella: The best way we can get things right for the child are by getting things right for the carer as soon as they enquire about fostering with us. My aim is to get the best possible outcomes for all children so that they can go on to have a bright, fulfilling future. It’s challenging, but the rewards are so great that it’s always worthwhile.
Lucy: My priority is minimising disruptions for a child by finding carers they can live with for long-term placements. If for some reason a disruption can’t be avoided, then I try to make the transition as smooth as possible to keep some stability in the child’s life. I also enjoy organising the annual awards events, where we celebrate all the children that our carers look after. It’s great to see how much they achieve in one short year!
What do you think makes a good foster carer?
Gabriella: A carer should be open, warm and caring, with the time and patience to look after a child. It is going to be a challenge so you need to have some self-belief and confidence that will allow you to care for the child and promote the best outcomes for them. You should be able to relate to children, even if you don't have your own.
Lucy: The best carers go the extra mile to ensure the child feels like part of the family and is treated like a birth child, which is really important. Things like cooking a child’s favourite meal and taking them for days out can make such a huge difference to their development.
Gabriella: We work in partnership with our carers to get the best results and ensure that the child comes first. Even if you think you might not meet every single requirement to foster, we can help you become an amazing carer with our excellent training and support.
Lucy: We get the best outcomes when we have a good match between a child and their carer. For example, we look after one young person who said it was important for a carer to understand her sarcastic sense of humour. We worked hard to find the right carer for her, and the two of them have developed a really strong bond.
Do any particular carers stand out in your mind for being great?
Gabriella: There is a couple we work with who have looked after a boy with severe learning and physical disabilities since he was a baby. He is now 12 years old and their commitment to him is amazing – they are even planning to adopt him! They have been amazing carers and have advocated for his needs every step of the way.
Lucy: A carer that stands out for me is a single woman who has looked after a young person for about five years. She is now 16 years old and goes to all family events, like a birthday party for the carer’s granddaughter. They’ve developed such a strong relationship because the carer will go above and beyond to make the young person feel included and valued.
Gabriella: Another one of our single carers recently completed a Masters in Autism. She looks after a child with this condition and uses the knowledge she gained from her degree to enhance the care she provides. Her success is down to her great communication skills and her warm and compassionate nature. She really goes the extra mile and you can hear the passion in her voice when she talks about fostering and the young person she cares for.
Why do you think it’s important to recruit new carers?
Gabriella: The more carers we have, the more young people we can help. To look after someone else’s child in your own home is one of the most amazing things you can do. Our carers are so selfless and tenacious, and always do their very best for the young person. It’s an enriching experience not only for the child, but for the carer as well.
If you think you could be a great foster carer, we want to hear from you. We’re recruiting carers across the London boroughs, but particularly in Ealing, Hillingdon and Hounslow. Get in touch with our friendly enquiries team today via email or on 0800 234 6282.
Find out more about fostering on our website.
Tuesday, 1 December 2015
Five ways to boost your child’s self-esteem
Sandie Paul, Fostering Manager, supports our carers and children in the West Midlands. Here she offers advice for parents and carers who want to help their young people build their self-esteem.
As adults most of us know that it’s completely natural to have times when you don’t feel as good about yourself as you should. We can usually find ways to combat these emotions, but what can you do when it’s your child having a tough time?
If you’re a parent or foster carer looking after a young person with low self-esteem, try these tips to help boost their confidence. Remember – we all have individual needs and the only way to find things that will work is through directly talking to the young person about what would make them feel good.
As adults most of us know that it’s completely natural to have times when you don’t feel as good about yourself as you should. We can usually find ways to combat these emotions, but what can you do when it’s your child having a tough time?
If you’re a parent or foster carer looking after a young person with low self-esteem, try these tips to help boost their confidence. Remember – we all have individual needs and the only way to find things that will work is through directly talking to the young person about what would make them feel good.
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| Image by Kiran Foster |
1. Start a feel-good box
Keep a box full of objects and notes that remind your child of times when they felt good about themselves. This can be photographs of fun days out, notes or stickers from teachers praising their work, or keepsakes like tickets and small toys. Reminiscing about happier times will remind your child of these positive experiences and will boost their self-esteem.
2. Keep track of compliments
Encourage your child to keep a note of any compliments they receive in a book. When they’re feeling down or anxious, they can flick through this and be reminded of all the positive things about themselves that friends, relatives and teachers have said in the past.
3. Exercise away the stress
Exercising is scientifically proven to increase happiness levels no matter how old you are. On days that your child is feeling down, take them to a local park for some fresh air and some blood-pumping activity, where they can run around and have fun. This has the added benefit of helping them to stay fit and in control of their health.
4. Do something they’re good at
If your child has a particular talent, like playing an instrument or taking part in sport, persuade them to do this when they’re struggling with low self-esteem. It works as a reminder of what they’re good at and how their skills contribute to make other people proud or happy. Even if it’s playing their favourite board game and letting them win, it can make a difference.
5. Let them set and achieve a task
Focusing on something that needs to be completed will take your child’s mind of whatever problem is affecting their confidence. This works as a self-esteem boost by empowering them to make a decision and following through. The sense of achievement will boost their self-worth and give them faith in their abilities.
Growing up is a turbulent time for everyone, but if your lacking stability or facing problems at home then it can be especially tricky. Children and young people in care often struggle with lower levels of self-confidence than their peers. That’s why we’re looking for individuals who could be great foster carers – are you up for the job?
Get in touch with us today!
Keep a box full of objects and notes that remind your child of times when they felt good about themselves. This can be photographs of fun days out, notes or stickers from teachers praising their work, or keepsakes like tickets and small toys. Reminiscing about happier times will remind your child of these positive experiences and will boost their self-esteem.
2. Keep track of compliments
Encourage your child to keep a note of any compliments they receive in a book. When they’re feeling down or anxious, they can flick through this and be reminded of all the positive things about themselves that friends, relatives and teachers have said in the past.
3. Exercise away the stress
Exercising is scientifically proven to increase happiness levels no matter how old you are. On days that your child is feeling down, take them to a local park for some fresh air and some blood-pumping activity, where they can run around and have fun. This has the added benefit of helping them to stay fit and in control of their health.
4. Do something they’re good at
If your child has a particular talent, like playing an instrument or taking part in sport, persuade them to do this when they’re struggling with low self-esteem. It works as a reminder of what they’re good at and how their skills contribute to make other people proud or happy. Even if it’s playing their favourite board game and letting them win, it can make a difference.
5. Let them set and achieve a task
Focusing on something that needs to be completed will take your child’s mind of whatever problem is affecting their confidence. This works as a self-esteem boost by empowering them to make a decision and following through. The sense of achievement will boost their self-worth and give them faith in their abilities.
Growing up is a turbulent time for everyone, but if your lacking stability or facing problems at home then it can be especially tricky. Children and young people in care often struggle with lower levels of self-confidence than their peers. That’s why we’re looking for individuals who could be great foster carers – are you up for the job?
Get in touch with us today!
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Becoming a Foster Carer: Home Visits
Hi, I'm Sandie and I'm the fostering manager here at St Christopher's in the West Midlands. My top team of social workers complete our home visits. These take place after you enquire about fostering and we think you might be suitable to start fostering our young people. We're all local people who work in the area and we believe our team is special because we really want to make a difference for children and it's important that our foster carers want to do the same.
We'll call you and introduce ourselves. We think it's good that you know who'll be coming to visit you! Our visit will always be at a time when you (and your partner, if you have one) are both at home. Yes, we can visit at weekends and evenings! If you think it's appropritate for your own children to be there as well, that's okay too. We think they're an important part of any foster family.
We always ask that you keep your house how you'd have it on any other day. This is because the home visit is chance to get a peak into your everyday lives.
Although we do have questions to ask and paperwork to fill in, this is a really great chance for you to ask us lots of questions too.
We like to start by having a look around your house, especially as we'd like to see the bedroom you'd intend for a foster child. We need to make sure it can fit all the right furniture in and that it's a good space for a child to call their own. Of course, we don't expect it to be all ready for someone to move in. You'll have plenty of time to sort that out if you carry on with the process of becoming a foster carer.
Alongside the bedroom, we'll generally check that your home is a safe, clean space for someone else to come and live there with you and your family.
After we've had a look around, we can then chat with you and your family. Our questions cover lots of topics, including what fun things you like to do as a family, your life experiences, your family's health and your understanding of fostering and fostered children. We always like to discuss your answers and we always want you to ask questions as well. We want you to feel confident and comfortable with us as we'll be supporting you throughout your fostering journey.
Your social worker will check through all the paperwork after the visit and make sure it has as much detail as possible so we get the best picture of your family. I'll then decide whether to invite you to our preparation training. We'll always be transparent with you and we might sometimes ask for more information and we'll always explain if we can't progress you to the next stage. Honesty is always the best way forward and it's always great to talk to potential foster carers. Remember, your life experience is good. It makes you who you are today!
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| Children shared what they thought a foster carer looked like |
We always ask that you keep your house how you'd have it on any other day. This is because the home visit is chance to get a peak into your everyday lives.
Although we do have questions to ask and paperwork to fill in, this is a really great chance for you to ask us lots of questions too.
We like to start by having a look around your house, especially as we'd like to see the bedroom you'd intend for a foster child. We need to make sure it can fit all the right furniture in and that it's a good space for a child to call their own. Of course, we don't expect it to be all ready for someone to move in. You'll have plenty of time to sort that out if you carry on with the process of becoming a foster carer.
Alongside the bedroom, we'll generally check that your home is a safe, clean space for someone else to come and live there with you and your family.
After we've had a look around, we can then chat with you and your family. Our questions cover lots of topics, including what fun things you like to do as a family, your life experiences, your family's health and your understanding of fostering and fostered children. We always like to discuss your answers and we always want you to ask questions as well. We want you to feel confident and comfortable with us as we'll be supporting you throughout your fostering journey.
Your social worker will check through all the paperwork after the visit and make sure it has as much detail as possible so we get the best picture of your family. I'll then decide whether to invite you to our preparation training. We'll always be transparent with you and we might sometimes ask for more information and we'll always explain if we can't progress you to the next stage. Honesty is always the best way forward and it's always great to talk to potential foster carers. Remember, your life experience is good. It makes you who you are today!
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
Foster Care Fortnight: Fostering and the Arts
Did you know that it's Foster Care Fortnight (June 1 - June 14)? For the next two weeks, we'll be taking a look at what fostering is and how St Christopher's supports young people and foster carers.
Today we're focusing on fostering and the arts. Here's Joanna Treharne, supervising social worker, from our West Midlands fostering team, talking about the drama group she runs for local fostered children.
The Sparkling Stars drama group started in September 2014 as an opportunity for fostered young people and birth children to come together and explore expressing themselves through the medium of drama and performing arts. It's evolved into a regular monthly group. The initial target group was 11 to 16 years old but the young people who are committed are aged six to 14 years old. The group is made up of children who have experienced early trauma, attachment difficulties and some who have additional needs.
Due to the young people's age and experience a lot of focus has been on group and social skills, voice projection, confidence raising, calming techniques and understanding how emotions affect physicality. The children have also picked up a range of drama skills, such as script writing, storyboards, costume design, developing characters and learning skills. This has been achieved through icebreakers, team building activities, drama games, singing, tongue twisters, dressing up, using musical instruments and learning meaningful poems.
The young people chose to perform their poems at our celebration event in November 2014 in front of 120 people. They said that they felt they had achieved something they were not sure they could have done before!
The young people wanted to continue developing their drama and speech and language skills on a regular basis and undertake new projects. The group provides peer support and a safe place for young people to be themselves and share their experiences of being looked after. We're also developing social interaction skills and helping young people to develop an understanding of participation and having a voice about the services they receive.
The group focuses on a particular area of our group agreement each session, such as showing respect and taking part and have a discussion about this. They can also share issues that they are worried, happy, angry about or proud of. Each session is evaluated by the group using scales and visual tools. Young people are always encouraged to share positive feedback about their peers.
Future plans are to prepare, practice and perform a young people's play chosen by the group to an audience in October 2015. They're also preparing poems to interpret and perform at our next Celebration of Achievement event in November 2015.
Today we're focusing on fostering and the arts. Here's Joanna Treharne, supervising social worker, from our West Midlands fostering team, talking about the drama group she runs for local fostered children.
The Sparkling Stars drama group started in September 2014 as an opportunity for fostered young people and birth children to come together and explore expressing themselves through the medium of drama and performing arts. It's evolved into a regular monthly group. The initial target group was 11 to 16 years old but the young people who are committed are aged six to 14 years old. The group is made up of children who have experienced early trauma, attachment difficulties and some who have additional needs.
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| Jo does fantastic work with her drama group for fostered children |
The young people chose to perform their poems at our celebration event in November 2014 in front of 120 people. They said that they felt they had achieved something they were not sure they could have done before!
The young people wanted to continue developing their drama and speech and language skills on a regular basis and undertake new projects. The group provides peer support and a safe place for young people to be themselves and share their experiences of being looked after. We're also developing social interaction skills and helping young people to develop an understanding of participation and having a voice about the services they receive.
The group focuses on a particular area of our group agreement each session, such as showing respect and taking part and have a discussion about this. They can also share issues that they are worried, happy, angry about or proud of. Each session is evaluated by the group using scales and visual tools. Young people are always encouraged to share positive feedback about their peers.
Thursday, 23 April 2015
Meet Our Team: Kerryann, Recruitment Officer
Hi, I'm Kerryann and I've been the Carer Recruitment Officer here at St Christopher's for two years. I've spoken to more than 3,000 people like you who are interested in fostering.
You might be worried that fostering isn't for you but we're always looking for people from all sorts of different backgrounds to start supporting our young people. Your age, sexuality, relationship status or faith aren't barriers to becoming a foster carer. We're just looking for patient, dedicated people who want to change children's lives. I really want everyone to know that many different people can provide a family that will match many of the children in the care system.
If you want to have a chat with me about fostering, why not get in touch? You can enquire about fostering in a number of ways, including by email, telephone, Facebook or face-to-face. It all depends on what's more convenient for you.
I make sure every single enquiry is followed up and I'll be able to answer any questions you have. I'll even ask you some questions but they're just so I can check you meet the minimum requirements, such as having a spare bedroom where young people can stay. Your information will be completely confidential and I won't judge your answers. Any questions are just so we can get the best possible carers for our young people. I'll also send you a booklet about fostering so you can take a look at home with your family and friends.
I think it's really important that you know about the support that's offered by St Christopher's throughout the fostering process. So many people would love to start fostering but we know you might have worries or concerns about things like financial and practical support. I and the rest of the fostering team will be with you every step of the way to make sure you're supported throughout your fostering journey. We pride ourselves on the training and support we offer so you'll be in good hands.
If you can and want to continue, I'll send your details to your local fostering team and a social worker will arrange to visit you. This also means that your social worker is never far away if you need help or support. Your social worker will have an Information Meeting with you and they'll go through up-to-date information about children who need foster carers. Again, this is all to help you decide if fostering is the best option for you and your family and you can ask all the questions you want. That's what we're here for!
I want you to know that all these stages of the fostering process are informal and it's a great way for you to get to know more about St Christopher's. You'll also get to meet our team who you'll work with closely if you're approved to foster.
If you want to change young people's lives, why not start your fostering journey today. Find out more and enquire about fostering by clicking here.
You might be worried that fostering isn't for you but we're always looking for people from all sorts of different backgrounds to start supporting our young people. Your age, sexuality, relationship status or faith aren't barriers to becoming a foster carer. We're just looking for patient, dedicated people who want to change children's lives. I really want everyone to know that many different people can provide a family that will match many of the children in the care system.
If you want to have a chat with me about fostering, why not get in touch? You can enquire about fostering in a number of ways, including by email, telephone, Facebook or face-to-face. It all depends on what's more convenient for you.
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| Meet Kerryann |
I think it's really important that you know about the support that's offered by St Christopher's throughout the fostering process. So many people would love to start fostering but we know you might have worries or concerns about things like financial and practical support. I and the rest of the fostering team will be with you every step of the way to make sure you're supported throughout your fostering journey. We pride ourselves on the training and support we offer so you'll be in good hands.
If you can and want to continue, I'll send your details to your local fostering team and a social worker will arrange to visit you. This also means that your social worker is never far away if you need help or support. Your social worker will have an Information Meeting with you and they'll go through up-to-date information about children who need foster carers. Again, this is all to help you decide if fostering is the best option for you and your family and you can ask all the questions you want. That's what we're here for!
I want you to know that all these stages of the fostering process are informal and it's a great way for you to get to know more about St Christopher's. You'll also get to meet our team who you'll work with closely if you're approved to foster.
If you want to change young people's lives, why not start your fostering journey today. Find out more and enquire about fostering by clicking here.
Wednesday, 25 February 2015
Becoming a Foster Carer: Training
Thanks for coming back to the St Christopher's blog. We're excited that you want to find out more about fostering young people. This time we'll be taking a look at the training and support you'll receive that will prepare you for fostering.
St Christopher's provides all our foster carers with great introductory training so that you feel confident that you can provide the best possible care for young people. Your introduction to fostering is made up of four parts:
St Christopher's provides all our foster carers with great introductory training so that you feel confident that you can provide the best possible care for young people. Your introduction to fostering is made up of four parts:
- The Skills to Foster course
- Induction programme
- The foster carer's manual
- Ongoing training and development
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| Fostering is a challenging but rewarding career |
Skills to Foster is a course that you'll be invited to attend following your successful enquiry. It's based on information from the Fostering Network and is a great way for you to learn exactly what fostering means and how important it is as an option for young people who can't stay with their families.
Skills to Foster covers three days and includes sessions on what foster carers do, understanding children in foster care, and how you can care for children safely.
You'll also find out about social workers and other professionals who'll support you in caring for young people and you'll even meet some of our existing foster carers. We encourage your family and friends to also attend the Skills to Foster course as we know they'll play an important role in your fostering journey.
As a potential foster carer, you'll also be invited to our induction days. These sessions are really useful as you'll learn about St Christopher's and our work with children and young people. This includes fostering, of course, but you'll also find out about our other wide-ranging services for young people and families.
The foster carer's manual is given to all our foster carers and you'll be given a copy once you're approved. It contains all the information and policies, which you can refer to whenever you need them. It's a handy tool that you can also use with your own supervising social worker.
As well as all this fostering preparation, we pride ourselves on our ongoing training and development opportunities for our foster carers. Your supervising social worker will always be on hand for advice and support and you'll have lots of chances to meet other foster carers at St Christopher's as well. There's lots of training sessions covering topics like safeguarding, equality and diversity, first aid, and attachment (an important psychological theory we use a lot).
Fostering is a challenging and rewarding career and we want to help you support young people to recognise and achieve their potential. Everybody has skills and experience that can help them be great foster carers, including you, and we'll help you every step of the way.
If you want to change young people's lives, why not start your fostering journey today. Find out more and enquire about fostering by clicking here.
Thursday, 12 February 2015
Becoming a Foster Carer: Part 1
Becoming a foster carer for young people is a hugely rewarding career. So that you can help young people reach their full potential, prospective foster carers have to be approved by going through an application process. This process is the same for all fostering agencies, whether they're independent or a local authority. It takes up to 6 months to be approved but it means you're completely ready to start supporting young people.
Over the next few weeks, we'll be guiding you through the application process and giving you more information about what to expect. We know from listening to you that you can find the application process daunting, especially if you don't know much about it. That's why we're here to help.
There are four main stages to the process of becoming a foster carer:
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| Start your fostering journey today |
Over the next few weeks, we'll be guiding you through the application process and giving you more information about what to expect. We know from listening to you that you can find the application process daunting, especially if you don't know much about it. That's why we're here to help.
There are four main stages to the process of becoming a foster carer:
- Training
- Assessment
- Panel
- Approval
Training
As a potential foster carer, you'll be invited to take part in courses to prepare you and help you learn about fostering young people. The courses are really helpful and give you a realistic view on what fostering involves and the different children you could be caring for.
Assessment
The assessment stage includes the checks that must be carried out by your social worker. These are required by law and help us ensure our foster carers can provide the best possible care for children and young people.
Panel
Our fostering panel is made up of childcare experts and people independent of St Christopher's. A report about your assessment will be discussed and you'll be invited to join the discussion. The fostering panel will recommend whether to approve someone as a foster carer.
Approval
The panel's recommendation will be given to St Christopher's agency decision maker. This person will confirm your approval and you'll be added to our register of foster carers, ready to start supporting young people.
Over the next few posts, we'll go into more detail about what you can expect at each stage. Next time, we'll take a look at the training stage and some of the things you'll learn about fostering.
If you're still thinking about fostering young people and want to know more, enquire on our website by clicking here.
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